The epitome of assertiveness:
negotiate!
Acting assertively: this is how you take charge
One reacts fiercely and takes a dominant stance. The other turns in on himself and waits. In challenging consultations or spirited conversations, this difference is often noticeable. Acting assertively and communicating your ideas and interests confidently may seem difficult at times, but this can be developed!
Standing up for what you need
Just before the weekend, your manager puts an extra task on your plate. A friend shows up unexpectedly for drinks, just when you wanted to hang out on the couch. A colleague asks you to take over something last minute while you already have an endless to-do list. In situations like these, you sometimes automatically nod yes. This creates stress and powerlessness. Becoming more assertive, naturally standing up for your interests, is the answer.
Make it clear what you do want
Many people think assertiveness is mostly about saying no. According to Erik van Gend, CEO of YEARTH Academy, that only partially works. “Something I see reflected in assertiveness training programs in the market is that people mainly learn to say ‘no.’ In my experience, that is not the strongest advice or the best route. After all, with no you say everything you don’t want, but not what you do want.” By stating your expectations up front, you steer the conversation and prevent others from stepping over your boundary. Indeed, by doing so, you are in the lead, showing personal leadership and taking control of the situation, rather than reacting to what happens.
Offer the other options
A quick “yes” often results in stress. Therefore, take a short time before responding to a request. Say you will come back to it and first determine what is feasible. Then offer some options that work for you. This way you show willingness, avoid pressure and maintain control. You set the playing field and the other person feels heard.
Do you want to communicate your interests clearly, deal with resistance and stand firm during important conversations? Then the Assertive Action and Communication training course is a perfect fit.
