The indispensable value
of distant contacts
Everyone has a story
Meeting people helps you grow and learn new perspectives. These perspectives often arise only when you notice that the average passerby is living a life as dynamic and layered as yours. Their own person with their own story, ambitions, routines and idiosyncrasies. The English term for that realization is “sonder.
Cognitive enhancement
Research from Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin shows that a conversation of just 10 minutes can improve your cognitive functions. By talking to someone you don’t yet know, you pick up new social cues. Those stimuli activate brain regions responsible for mental flexibility. You become more open to other ideas faster and correct your own assumptions and biases.
Distant contacts are more valuable than you think
Take the corona lockdown as an example. During that lockdown, the focus was more likely to be on your inner circle. Yet Dr. Karen Fingerman, professor of psychology at the University of Texas, points out the importance of distant contacts: people who are not part of your immediate circle. In her book“Consequential Strangers: The Power of People Who Don’t Seem to Matter…. But Really Do‘ she describes how precisely these loose connections enhance your well-being and development. Conversations with distant contacts prove more often stimulating than conversations within your close circle.
The strength of weak ties
Strong ties are found in your inner circle. Weak ties arise in brief encounters with acquaintances, new colleagues or people you meet casually. Despite the word “weak,” these very contacts are powerful. They increase your life satisfaction and contribute to better emotional and physical health. Fingerman shows that people function more strongly when they maintain a diverse group of contacts.
Enter the conversation
Small encounters enrich your life, even when you keep them short. Have a chat with your neighbor across the street or someone you meet on the road. Listen to the other person’s story and share yours. You stimulate your brain, you increase your resilience and you enrich your life.
Do you find it difficult to introduce yourself or make yourself visible during work moments? Then check out the Personal Profiling training course and strengthen your presentation style.
Source: Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin
Source: Blau, M., & Fingerman, K. L. (2009). Consequential strangers: The Power of People Who Don’t Seem to Matter…But Really Do.
