How your feelings
guide your body language

Body language rarely lies. Many people believe that words form the core of communication. But is that really the case? Body language largely determines how your message is received. Most of these signals are used unconsciously. They reflect your feelings, and feelings are not easy to control. Unless you consciously learn how body language works.

Communication experts have agreed on this for decades. When words and body language do not align, people immediately sense that something is off. If you want to lie convincingly, your body language needs to match what you say. You may recognize the feeling. Someone says something, yet something inside you does not believe it. Your brain is picking up on the inconsistency. That is not surprising, because body language often reveals more than the message itself.

Behavior follows emotions

Our behavior grows from our feelings and thoughts. Body language and verbal communication naturally align with each other. Try this simple test. Sit slouched, look down, raise your shoulders and say as enthusiastically as possible that you’ve never felt happier in your life. It doesn’t feel convincing, because your posture and words contradict each other.

You can use that insight to your advantage. By consciously adjusting your body language, you can influence your behavior and the impression you make.

Body language in practice

Our body language reflects how we feel and how we behave. When you understand the principles behind unconscious communication, you gain more influence over it. Adjust your behavior so that your body language reinforces your words.

During a presentation

Do you feel nervous before an important presentation? Ten minutes beforehand, take a strong and open posture in a quiet space, such as an empty meeting room. Stand firmly, keep your chest open, and breathe deeply. This activates energy rather than nervousness. Walk into the room upright, connect with your audience, and take your space. You project confidence, and people around you will sense it.

In a sensitive conversation

Addressing an employee often works better when you sit diagonally next to each other instead of directly opposite. The physical distance feels smaller and it encourages a more open conversation.

In a negotiation

Entering a tough negotiation that you want to win? Your first handshake sets the tone. Take the initiative, offer a firm handshake and subtly guide the other person toward a seat. The tone is set and you are in control.

There are hundreds of ways to support your behavior with body language. It is not a standalone technique. When you truly internalize it and body language becomes an unconscious skill, you present yourself more strongly and communication flow more naturally. The better you understand the signals of body language, the greater your influence becomes.

Want to learn how to use nonverbal communication more consciously? Then check out our Effective Communication training program.