What
do you mean?!

Looking at someone or not, a smile while giving a serious message. They seem like small nuances, but they completely change the impact of your communication. You are always using body language, consciously or unconsciously. If you want to communicate more effectively, it helps to understand what is happening in the undercurrent.

Internal and external factors

During a conversation, circumstances always come into play that affect your message. External factors such as a passing truck, a radio in the background or a faltering Internet connection are distracting. Your words come in less sharp.

In addition, internal factors of the listener influence the message. Think of a person’s mood, expectations, stress or prejudices. These internal filters color the way your interlocutor interprets your message. If you know what is on someone’s mind and what choice of words someone often uses, you tune in much easier. You avoid meaning something different from what the other person hears.

Verbal and nonverbal communication

During every conversation, you send a verbal message. You are always communicating, even without words. The listener consciously, or unconsciously, sends signals through their body language to make it clear what their reaction to the message is. Gaze direction, posture, facial expression and tone give the listener a lot of information. Yet many people focus primarily on their words, while nonverbal communication often comes in stronger than the sentence you are speaking.

From contradictory to optimal communication

What happens when your words say something different than your attitude conveys? Incongruence undermines your credibility. People trust nonverbal signals rather than verbal explanations. If you say that something is not so bad while looking tense, the other person will believe your body faster than your text.

Optimal communication occurs when language, tone and body language reinforce each other. By choosing words that match what you are expressing non-verbally, you reinforce your message. This way, the other person understands you faster and you avoid misunderstandings.

So you support your message not only with what you say, but especially with how you say it. If you want to sharpen your communication, play consciously with both channels and tune them powerfully to each other. In the training course Effective Communication in 4 months you learn to use language, tone and body language in such a way that they reinforce each other.