The psychology behind
persuading and influencing

Winning without anyone losing? Getting results without damaging the relationship requires purposeful influence. You don’t just want to be right, you want to get it. You seek an outcome that benefits both you and your interlocutor. Yet a conversation often ends in a compromise that everyone can live with, but no one is really happy with. By consciously persuading and effectively influencing, you preserve the relationship and achieve results. That is the basis for sustainable cooperation. A real win-win situation.

Leading research

Robert B. Cialdini researched influence and persuasion for many years. He worked as a professor of psychology and marketing at the University of Arizona and became an authority in this field. His insights are used in marketing, sales and leadership and help to influence with integrity. The principles strengthen your powers of persuasion and help you better understand the behavior of others.

Seven principles for persuasion

The principles are recognizable and perhaps you already apply them unconsciously in your daily life. By consciously employing them, you increase the likelihood of an outcome that works for you and for the other person. The combination creates a stronger conviction. Especially in creating commitment and flexibility, these principles will be effective. Below we provide insight into the seven principles.

Reciprocity

People are more likely to say yes to someone who previously did something for them. Cialdini says “give what you want to receive” about this. Our brain looks for balance. This works best when the other person is not counting on your gesture. A small surprise or extra step motivates the other person to do the same.

Scarcity

Something that is hard to come by feels like something with more value. Nothing needs to change about the product or service; that is the power of scarcity. Cialdini says “we want more of the things that are hard to get.” By making it clear what is unique about your proposition and what someone is missing out on if they do nothing, the willingness to move grows.

Authority

Expertise breeds confidence. Someone who exudes authority usually gets more done. Mind you, a condition here is that the authority does have to be perceived positively. This does not mean that you have to exaggerate yourself. Let others name your expertise or demonstrate your knowledge naturally. This lowers doubt and increases the likelihood that you can convince someone of your advice.

Consistency

Basically, we humans have trouble with inconsistent behavior. Those who make a clear, voluntary choice are happy to stick with it. Getting someone to actively express what they commit to increases the likelihood that they will stick with that behavior. For example, ask a colleague to briefly summarize that joint agreement himself and email it to you. This explicit choice has more impact than a nod or a vague affirmation.

Sympathy

People are more likely to say yes to someone they like. Agreements, sincere compliments and working together toward a common goal strengthen that likability. That makes it easier to reach agreement. American research shows that people are more likely to reach an agreement when they take the time to get to know each other better and find similarities in interests. In the process, this also has the effect that they attach more value to the agreements made.

Social proof

People look to the behavior of others to determine what is wise. Especially when those others are similar to them. References, customer experiences or examples from similar situations help eliminate uncertainty and convince someone.

Unit

This seventh principle was later added by Cialdini and goes beyond sympathy. Unity is all about shared identity. People are attracted to someone who feels like part of the same group. Think colleagues within the same team, parents within the same school, or professionals who share the same values. Those who connect with this sense of we create a strong foundation for trust and cooperation.

Want to learn how to apply these principles in conversations, negotiations and collaboration? Then check out our Effective Influencing training course.